Do you think Mick Jagger groans every time he sits down and stands up? Meryl Streep secretly likes BINGO? Martin Scorsese falls asleep reading scripts? Nancy Pelosi naps? David Attenborough texts? Pope Francis uses SIRI? I don’t know. But I do know that ascribing behaviors stereotyped as being that of an ‘older’ person can and cannot be fair. And conversely, assuming behaviors, typical of younger person, are not seen in an older person is equally discriminatory. I find it all confusing, ludicrous and infuriating. I remember getting my AARP application in my late 40’s while Senators Feinstein, Grassely, Leahy, and Inhofe are currently serving well into their 80’s! Our President will soon be 80 years old.

Let’s face it. The truth. It’s only natural for osteoarthritic gutterals to happen. Our bodies now betray us. Texting is harder the older one gets… [misshapen and achy fingers don’t lend itself to fine motor olympics]. Besides…we were taught the Palmer Method using an implement to form letters. And….naps can be restorative and in fact common among the older generation for sure…. Myself? At 70 I do not sleep well any longer. My usual 8-9hour nightly slumber has slumped to maybe 5 or 6 hours, if all goes well. Still working, I find myself nodding off at my desk, not even mentioning the fact that I literally STARE at a comfy cot all day in my nurse’s office. And! That wretched daily 2 to 3 pm cusp is DEADLY especially in the colder weather when a day at the beach is a just a fantasy. AND! Who DOESNT like a quick game o’ Bingo? No different than a ‘scratch off’. I mean… talk about instant gratification [although I loathe those supposed ‘good luck’ elephantic chatskies]. It’s all a conundrum but clarity and equity must enter. And a game of Bingo becomes ‘The Game of Life’ when seriously discussing this topic…

Oooops! Almost forgot …. talk about using those DREADFUL low-set diminutive beach ‘chairs’, clearly designed for young knees …however I have developed a successful albeit hideous acrobatic involving a self-induced ‘body slam’ into the sand…in order to retrieve a standing position. Yet! Don’t get me wrong …. My goal in regaining stature is not simply to use the bathroom but to use my body board…yep! I am out there boarding with all the rubbery teens you find on Spring Lake beaches. Sometimes called ‘the crazy old beach lady’ or sometimes referred to as ‘that cool Mrs Barnes who [still] boogie boards’…. Now there you go. BOTH statements are AGEIST. Do you see? Unfair. Insulting. Biased.

I don’t like “old” jokes as a general rule. Outwardly, I stoically walk past ‘that’ aisle of birthday greeting cards in stores, sneaking peeks while DYING of internal giggles. In truth, I will be the first one choking with hysterics picking out a 70th birthday card. And when my late Aunt told me about hanging black crepe paper at a 40th birthday party, something she found hilarious at age 96, I mustered a polite snicker ‘to be polite’. [was actually a hilarious vision and I really chortled with gusto to be honest]. What truly tickles my funny bone, mostly because I prefer a more mischievous/more absurd brand of humor [so pompous] … kinda like the meme showing two older women:

Woman #1: “I’ve been trying to reach you all day.”
Woman #2: “That’s a calculator.” HAHAHAHA…. No????

But, Ageism is so much more than a joke. It is real. And it is pervasive. Age discrimination in the work place is difficult to prove, to prosecute and to rectify more than any other sort of employment bias. That elderly person greeting you at the door of Target or checking out your groceries at the supermarket may well have once held – and been fired from – a very different job. And while age may be a factor in this joke, it’s the absurdity that makes me laugh. But I must admit some jokes about old age do just ‘get’ me — especially now that I’m {getting}older. The stereopathy of THE GOLDEN GIRLS in theory was absurd and misguided, yet there was something comforting and reasonable within these simple-minded sketches. ‘Blanche’, I believe, was playing a 55 year old retiree, quite illogical today in portraying the a lifestyle of a woman that age. In fact I could feasibly be her mother!!! Yet I, at times, would [embarassingly] watch the show, hoping for some cheap free cackles, which I invariably could recover. Example: “Dorothy: Oh c’mon, Blanche. Age is just a state of mind.”
Blanche: “Tell that to my thighs.” Well… it WAS funny 30 years ago. A snicker mixed with realization that MY thighs ALREADY resembled my friend’s Sharpei. Aging sucks and it is the essence of aging that makes Ageism so objectionable.

Of course ‘old jokes’ are inherently ageist, just like blonde jokes are inherently sexist. They all reinforce stereotypes. The funny thing is … is that ‘forgetfulness’ IS funny. Yet the very idea of a ‘Senior Moment’ reinforces a stereotype of us older adults that I find just simply distasteful. Obnoxious. You can’t win. And, I am way too easily entertained. Besides, I’m most CERTAINLY NOT 70! My twin sister MAY BE…

I tried to think of another demographic – Asians? Latinos? Blacks? LGBTQ? Women? who have been the object of humor that can be as cruel, wounding and as personal as the elderly. But it’s not only in the sphere of comedy, and on network TV, that the old are discussed in ways that would never be tolerated by (or about) another group. The New York Times ran a piece a few years ago by Ann Bauer titled Do Old People Have a Different Smell? It’s about having rented her house to an elderly couple. Upon return, she found it to have an odd distinctive scent. A Google search provided her with conflicting results. Yet one biologist at the Monell Chemical Research Center found that an increased concentration of an unsaturated aldehyde produced, in the elderly. “a distinctive grassy, waxy or fatty odor”. This confirmed what a Japanese study had found in 2001. The Japanese have a name for older person odor – kareishu – and it has a definitely negative association. These conclusions were disputed by an organic chemist, also at Monell, who was himself jokingly accused of being biased, because he was old. A smell? Well…what next? A new product for Fabreze: “ELDER-bury”.

FACT: Age changes us. Our bodies. Our minds. Ageist theory? Nope. Biological.

Wikipedia says… ‘Ageism, also spelled agism, [although I can’t imagine ever saying this word aloud using a hard ‘g’- too ‘mineralistic’ ] is stereotyping and/or discrimination against individuals or groups on the basis of their age. This may be casual or systemic. The term was coined in 1969 by Robert Neil Butler to describe discrimination against seniors, and patterned on sexism and racism.’ Well, good for you, Mr Butler. Can’t help but wonder your age at coinage…

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), AGEISM suggests stereotypes (how we think), prejudice (how we feel) and discrimination (how we act) onto others or oneself based on AGE. It permeates into all our institutions and sectors of society. It encompasses the districts which provide health and social work, as well as in the workplace, media and the legal system. The concept of ‘Healthcare Rationing’ based solely on age is widespread. A systematic review in 2020 showed that in 85 per cent of 149 studies, age determined who received certain medical procedures or treatments. This is just sickening. And, this abomination isn’t even what I wanted to address. I was initially in for the jokes…the stereotypic one liners…the guffaws I produce laughing at myself at 70 and how fairly/unfairly a gal of my age is perceived. And, most notably, how I perceive MYSELF in this fair/unfair world where people age without being awake nor aware of it happening. A cruel world really. That is. Unless your last name is Button and friends call you ‘Ben’…

On a serious note, some facts and figures. Drier information but the primary [kinda] point of this blog. Research on AGEISM demonstrates the belief that half the world’s population is ageist against older people and, in Europe, the only region for which data is available on all age groups, younger people report more age discrimination than other age groups. It is clear, ageism changes how we view ourselves, abrades harmony among generations and devalues our ability to benefit from what younger and older populations can contribute. It impacts our health and well-being while also having serious economic consequences. For example, ageism is associated with earlier death (by 7.5 years) and poorer physical and mental health. Ageism also increases risky health behaviors, such as eating an unhealthy diet, drinking excessively or smoking, and reduces our quality of life.

Ageism also affects EVERYONE. Children as young as 4 years old become aware of their culture’s age stereotypes. Just last week my two year old grandaughter shouted ‘POP POP’ in a restaurant after seeing an older gentleman with sparse grey hair enter haltingly, looking around with a hint of confusion. From early onwards children internalize and use these stereotypes to guide their feelings and behavior towards people of different ages. They also draw on culture’s age stereotypes to perceive and understand themselves, which can result in self-directed ageism at any age. This is true. And. This is scary.

Ageism also affects women EARLIER and HARDER than men! Surprise! Surprise! How many over 50 year old blondes do you think anchor FOXNews? *{NOT that I watch it}! While men over fifty are predominant. Things are slowly changing, but clearly not expediently. Older women face marginalization based on “lookism,” or gendered youthful beauty standards in addition to the unfounded societal biases that older employees are less innovative, adaptive, creative and less qualified. Studies show women managers reported feeling pressure to adhere to societal beauty standards and maintain a young look. As an example, women are almost twice as likely as men to feel compelled to dye their hair. Then again more and more women are fed up with this traditional, expensive and time consuming periodic transformation! Allowing one’s hair to remain gray or white or whatever color is natural at advanced age age is taking off! And it is terrific. It’s not for everyone, however, and on a personal note, I look like I have a severe and catastrophic case of anemia while sporting this natural/unnatural look! But it doesn’t really matter…there are plenty other ‘giveaways’ on my upper body shreiking ‘I’m no longer in my 60’s’…let alone one’s hair color. Just an aside…. But why is it ‘other’ hirsuit areas do/not transform into these dastardly wiry- textured and blanched fellas uniformly. I mean my eyebrows would not cause a rejection letter nor SNL skit? Hmmm…. Onward!

Facts about Aging.

I will make this short… People worldwide are living longer. Today most people can expect to live into their seventies and beyond. Every country in the world is experiencing growth in both the size and the proportion of older persons in the population. By 2030, 1 in 6 people in the world will be aged 60 years or over. At this time the share of the population aged 60 years and over will increase from 1 billion in 2020 to 1.4 billion. By 2050, the world’s population of people aged 60 years and older will double (2.1 billion). The number of persons aged 80 years or older is expected to triple between 2020 and 2050 to reach 426 million. At the biological level, ageing results from the impact of the accumulation of a wide variety of molecular and cellular damage over time. This leads to a gradual decrease in physical and mental capacity, a growing risk of disease and ultimately death. These changes are neither linear nor dependable, loosely associated with a person’s age in years. And, diversity seen in older age is certainly not random. Beyond biological changes, ageing is often associated with other life experiences such as retirement, relocation and death of friends and partners. Common medical problems upon aging include hearing loss, eye conditions, osteoarthritis, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, diabetes, depression, dementia et al. As people age, they are more likely to experience several conditions at the same time. Older age is also characterized by the emergence of various complex health states commonly called geriatric syndromes. (Just Awful)….

Although some of the variations in older people’s health are genetic, most is due to people’s physical and social environments – including their homes and communities, as well as their personal characteristics – such as their sex, ethnicity, or socioeconomic status. Physical and social environments can affect health directly or through barriers or incentives that affect opportunities, decisions and health behavior. Maintaining healthy behaviors throughout life, particularly eating a balanced diet, engaging in regular physical activity and refraining from tobacco use, all contribute to reducing the risk of non-communicable diseases, improving physical and mental capacity and delaying dependent living. And, the diversity seen in older age is not random. A large part arises from people’s physical and social environments and the impact of these environments on their opportunities and health behavior

Older people are often assumed to be frail or dependent, vulnerable and a burden to society. Public health professionals, and society as a whole, need to address these and other ageist attitudes, which can lead to discrimination, affect the way policies are developed and the opportunities older people have to experience healthy aging. Researchers have suggested that these stereotypes about older people often relate to how younger people EXPECT them to behave. Younger people often assume older people ‘have had their turn’. And, need to and SHOULD make way for younger generations. They also feel that limited resources should be spent on the young rather than the older adults. And, finally, younger people feel that older people should ‘act their age’ … attacking the very IDENTITY of an elder. We clearly see all this. We clearly see and feel all this. Recently I was asked if I was wearing my daughter’s Dr. Martens boots! It is hurtful. It is unfair. It is WRONG. This. Is. AGEISM!

In any case, I think that the animosity toward the old is less economic than empirical; less political than primal and less about student debt than about THE FEAR OF GETTING OLD. No one particularly wants to AGE, however preferable it is to the alternative, that is, a premature demise. What’s striking is that the prejudice against the elderly is the only bigotry directed at the inevitable future of the bigot. Think about it! Very few misogynists fear that they will morph into a female, nor do racists fret that the future may radically change their ethnicity nor skin color! HOWEVER… the young WILL get old, that is, if they’re lucky. So why not simply consider the fact that ageing is challenging enough without one’s being taunted and insulted for having experienced this natural process that no medical or cosmetic intervention can ultimately supersede nor prevent.

In closing, I’m not suggesting more “calling out” nor cancellations….We have enough of that already. Cruel jokes about the old are everywhere. When will we face our ageism epidemic? We already have. But, perhaps the answer is more consciousness, more compassion, a more empathic imagination. Believe it or not, the old still have a sense of humor, even about the ageing process. I’ve already disclosed my closeted SeniorSense of humor. Geeeze… I AM a rabid SNL fan.. However, cruelty is something else. Imagine how your grandpa (or your local Monmouth County School Nurse named Nurse Pam) would feel surrounded by scientists eager to determine if he/she had an unpleasant odor… being placed in a Medtronic ‘Odometer’ only to watch the gauge register ‘SeniorScent’ or ‘ElderOdor’? How would your grandmother or twin sister like hearing her inner thigh flesh compared to a wad of Bubblelicious? Then imagine how you might feel, in some as yet unimaginable future, to be told, simply because you have survived, to have a terrible day.

I want to add just some quick ideas on how to address an ageist comment or ‘joke ‘ if ever in a situation where you feel dishonored or insulted and cannot keep your mouth shut. I mean… there’s always the ‘benefit of the doubt’ ploy where you nonchalantly say ‘I’m sure you were just trying to make a joke, but that just came off as mean.’ The there’s your ‘feigned bewilderment’ maneuver, “Why would you say such a thing?”. Always good for an awkward moment. I mean anyone who is capable of shame will apologize on the spot. Other cases may warrant going for blunt: ‘Please stop making those comments. They’re rude! They’re not funny, and they’re AGEIST’…my personal favorite. [especially when it’s someone you most likely will never see again]. And, finally, assuming you are at least 40, you could add: “And you should know my age is a protected status under Federal Law”. I think persons who wouldn’t dream of making rude nor cruel remarks about someone’s race, sex or religion for fear of being sued don’t realize that the federal ‘Age Discrimination in Employment Act of 1967 (ADEA)’ also prohibits discrimination against workers age 40 and older.

So there it is. Ageism. But gotta go! Time for watching reruns of ‘Golden Girls’ streaming on the AARP channel. 🤣