Til it happens to you

Til it happens to you, you won’t know how it feels…

Not sure if it was ignited by AOC preposterously early this morning…mornings are late nights or visa versa lately. It doesn’t matter. Just that the sparks enter when they see a place to light. They go to preoccupations…obsessions of mine. Ruminating injustices I have not been able to do anything about. And this inertia makes me angry. And anger isn’t productive for me. Wounds deepen and become infected with inertia. Until! I see THE SPARK.

The light shines today not so much on the emphasis to empower women who are victims of sexual assault. I dare not think I am one who could compete with Gaga or any other prolific voice of the ‘ME TOO’ movement. No! I just need to say something about two women; that is, Anita Hill, in 1991. And, Christine Blasey Ford in 2018. Two OUTSTANDING cases, to me, that consummately represent, although distinct, the despicable attitude [past and present] of distrust of women who speak out regarding matters of sexual abuse.

As a victim of rape, I cannot envision what it would have been like if the police, in my asssault, doubted my account. I was treated with respect and credibility. HOWEVER! My attacker? NOT a federal Circuit Judge nor a Judge of the DC Circuit Court. Nope! Just a recidivist plain ole murderer who recently escaped Walpole State Prison that day . Geeze, I was lucky. Sad. But true.

My point. Anita Hill’s account was not to be credited. Without a diatribe here, clearly and tragically, she was discredited. Nearly 30 years later, it happened again. Christine Blasey Ford’s accusation of being assaulted by Mr. Kavanaugh in her teens. And again, she was not to be believed. Both women. Upstanding. Both women. Educated. Both women. Believable. But NOT TO BE BELIEVED. And, this is where the sparks go at 2:30am in my mind. To strike the match to heal the wound. To allow me to sleep 5 minutes…10 more minutes.

Nope. Cannot and will NEVER accept this history. But we can overturn these crimes in our mind, heart and soul. We can reveal these inequities. Why am I so sure? Because… WHEN YOU ARE THE VICTIM YOU DO NOT FORGET. YOU DO NOT LIE. YOU DO NOT FABRICATE. YOUR MEMORY HOLDS THE VIOLATION LIKE LOOKING AT YOUR BABY FOR THE FIRST TIME. You remember the face…the creepy and terrifying feeling of being ‘wronged’. The Voice! The SMELL. The TASTE! No….you NEVER forget. Because IT IS THE TRUTH

So, in writing this, my heart continues to ache. My hunger for vindication for these women will never be realized in public. In a society where ‘ME TOO’ should prevail…it fails and Will continue to fail because, like Gaga says…’til it happens to you’. Mr. Thomas and Mr. Kavanaugh! I wish I had the talent of Lady Gaga, Dolly Parton…. I would want nothing more than to write a ballad devoted to your cowardice and lies. Would you listen? Nope! Probably not. Why? Because YOU were not the victim. Shame on you both. Just my opinion. PLEASREADTHIS🗽

Before anyone else does

Let’s set the record straight

Nominations for this prize are made from about 3000 individuals, academics working in the pertinent area of nomination. Peter Eide, a Norwegian politician, has nominated THE BLACK LIVES MATTER movement for the 2021 Nobel Peace Prize.

It is important to note that Mr. Eide has previously nominated human rights activists from Russia and China. He is a member of Parliament, representing The Socialist Party and was Secretary General of Amnesty International from 2000-2007.

BLM has been nominated for this prize due to the way its call for systemic change has spread around the world. Mr. Eide stated that this movement has forced countries outside the United States to grapple with racism within their own societies. He continues to say that he has been impressed by their [BLM} collaborative abilities to mobilize people from ALL societies … in a way different from their predecessors. Eide goes on to say that BLM also caries forth the legacies of Dr. Martin Luther King (who won this prize in 1964) and Nelson Mandela in 1994, for their campaigns against racial discrimination in the U.S. and a South Africa, respectively. Please make note that Eide has made it clear that this nomination ‘is NOT a comment on domesticAmerican politics’.

Personally, I am quite impressed with Eide’s recognition of the true tenets of the BLM movement; to look past critics who denounce the movement as being an inflamed and riotous band of protestors, recognizing that the majority of BLM protests have been peaceful. That data had shown that 93% of BLM demonstrations involved NO SERIOUS HARM to people or property, as cited by Mr. Eide.

I don’t know about you, but I am ecstatic and very proud to see this nomination. I am honored to have joined the BLM movement early this summer. I must admit, if not for the killing of George Floyd, I would not have known much about it as a political organization whose agenda was to reshape the world…A world in which we all know is innately racist, unfair and in need of change.

To my major point of this blog, I present the following fact:

‘Trump was nominated for a second time by another Norwegian MP, Christian Tybring-Gjedde. The far-right MP cited Trump’s role in normalising relations between Israel and the United Arab Emirates under the Abraham Accords, although Eide said Tybring-Gjedde had “a little difficulty defending that nomination” after the Capitol riot of 6 January when a pro-Trump mob stormed the US Congress buildings and five people died.’ … ‘The Guardian’

There’s nothing rare about a world leader winning a Nobel Prize. President Obama was the fourth President of the United States to have won this Prize (after Theodore Roosevelt, Woodrow Wilson and Jimmy Carter, with Carter’s honor happening after leaving office). Former President Donald Trump has been nominated for the 2021 Nobel Peace Prize for his role brokering a peace deal between Israel and the United Arab Emirates. The nomination was submitted by Christian Tybring-Gjedde, a right-wing member of the Norwegian Parliament. This is the second time Mr. Tybring-Gjedde (on a lighter note…are these names actually pronounceable!). BTW, IF you did not know, Mr. Hitler was nominated in 1939, as was the ‘honorable’ Mr. Stalin, TWICE! To continue, Mr. Trump has during the past years, repeatedly, raised his prospect of being awarded this prize. Stating that he believes he is owed a Nobel prize for many things and retweeting at least 12 messages from his supporters, he has been on an eccentric and unconventional campaign, benefiting from the help of far-reaching foreign allies. It is a known fact that ‘Nobel trackers’ feel this campaigning is useless. Trump’s poor international approval ratings put aside, and, after the events of January 6th, the preposterous prospect of ANY KIND OF PRIZE is sorely evident, let alone one for PEACE.

In the end, the bestowal of The Nobel Peace Prize is intrinsically about PEACE. The fact that the former president had been nominated in the same category is a travesty. It must be ignored. It must be erased from history and most importantly from anyone and everyone’s minds. We must keep in mind that the act of being ‘nominated’, as discussed earlier, can be random, worthy, earned, bought and sometimes tragically WRONG. However, we must rejoice in the choices that HAVE EARNED this honor. It is clear, to me…the distinction between a pure nomination-unbridled with political affiliations and strong-arming, for a cause so old and entrenched in the world and one reeking in dishonestly and discord…makes the case…that…Black Americans have fought to establish themselves for centuries. Clearly, a movement PEACEFULLY and Smartly dedicated to stopping racism… cannot and MUST NOT be in the same category as the former president. It is self-evident that a grave mistake had been made…

BLACK LIVES MATTER, because, Black Lives Matter, because black persons are persons. BLM does not NEED to win the Nobel Peace Prize. It already has won a BIG PRIZE in being recognized in an arena, as flawed and foreign as it may be, as a FORCE to be contended with in a pool of good vs evil. History will clearly make note of who the peacekeepers are…and…who are not! PLEASEREADTHIS🗽

All rainbows 🌈 are a full circle

If you STILL think SCHOOL NURSING is no big deal, try retiring for a couple of years. Then return to a world where inherent responsibilities incorporate an encyclopedic knowledge base of a novel virus so complex and mobile……

SPOT AND STOP the spread. The Novel school nurse motto. A rich description, right? Huh? I remember Zika, H1N1 and the other conventional contagious diseases steadily presented over my 25 year career. We had resources, books, journals and innumerable websites to advise. That was serviceable. The crucial roles of the school nurse TODAY NOT ONLY INCLUDE implicit child health maintenance for keeping children in the classroom….but now to include being responsible for screening students for COVID-19 symptoms, while ‘trying’ to follow the latest updates of this fluid virus and the hows and whys of advice. Interpreting the complicated and sometimes conflicting school district, township, county, state and federal guidelines require a statistician to solve and implement. It is detective work which might stump Sherlock. Straddling all the ingredients of The School Nurse’s role, TODAY, is an awakening, however, to anyone who may have doubted its valuation.

Whereas parental inclusion as a necessary and predominantly joyful role I previously encountered…try explaining to parents several times a day WHY their student (if, in fact IS in school) must get a COVID-19 test, ANOTHER COVID-19 test, quarantine for (depending ing on district or state guidance) 10-14 days, return with a Dr.’s note, etc etc. Not even mentioning the fear of getting infected, something I NEVER EVER felt before and which I HATE admitting! Shall I even MENTION the CONTACT TRACING element? Where does the school/home ratio reside in all this? Dealing with teachers who, quite naturally and significantly, fear for their and their family’s safety? Answerability is disconcerting, complex, personal and unsettling.

I was used to being an Ambassador, a conduit, a website, a teacher, a healer, a therapist, a collaborator, a researcher, peacekeeper, an advocate, etc….however the above mentions roles, TODAY, are only ‘half of the rainbow’. In the end, I guess one can say that it’s taken a PANDEMIC to prove the adaptability and immense worth of the role of THE SCHOOL NURSE in today’s world . PLEASEREADTHIS🗽

A time to rhyme

There once was a jester! A Minion! Who pitifully sanctioned DOMINION. ‘Twas invalid technology’! Not his glaring pathology Tis the truth! Look it up! Not opinion!

There once was a Liar! A mobster! Who’s claws should be shackled like a lobster. Delusional! Deranged! Totally disengaged. A President! O! No! He’s a MONSTER!

Again, this knave, Trump, feeds his delusions . With sociopathic ideas inducing contusions. To our sacred democracy With his treacherous Autocracy. His heart and soul need reality transfusions.

To continue, Trump’s now a Spree Killer!A Champion of Outrage…an insurrectionists Pilar. Impeach Him! We say…. It’s THE ONLY WAY! What’s Ms McEnany sayin’ now…. Time to GRILL HER!!!

Bon Voyage, MISTER Trump, on Air Force One. To await your your demise in the sun Time to bond with Melania. Can you set aside your egomania? Time to PAY! For your Deadly HIT AND RUN!

How’s the weather, Mister Trump, in Palm Beach? Here? The pollution is GONE! We DID Impeach! On Inaugural Day….Did you see the flags sway? As your blasphemous deeds cling to you like a leech

And this WILL be continued…

🎼I have always wanted to have a neighbor…

JUST LIKE YOU!

Would you be mine? Could you be mine? Won’t you be? My…….NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Earlier, preceding that GLORIOUS and stunning Inauguration Day, Mr. Trump’s motorcade was languidly waltzing down Southern Boulevard, on its way to Mar-al-Lagosi (poetic license). There, stood groups of hunched leathery-skinned supporters gathered to welcome or simply nosily spy on their former commander in chief

At the PUBLIX, waving with faces looking much older than their years….A weathered looking group, mainly, resigned to their fate. He lost! And…now they’re STUCK WITH HIM. A few exceptions…Thomas Burgess was there, having been released from prison in 2019 by Trump six years early. O! …in the slammer for selling crack cocaine; an honorable fan. Roger Stone also made an appearance across the street! He gleefully saluted the former president, welcoming him to THE SUNSHINE STATE OF PARDONS. Geee! Ya think?!?

While ‘God Bless The USA’ was blaring from speakers, the motorcade arrived at 1100 South Ocean Blvd at 11:27am, former presidential time. And! Life will NEVER BE THE SAME in that town. And! Life will NEVER BE AS wretched again for us

Now we have all read that Mr. Trump is violating a legal agreement by residing there. That’s the least of his hardships he implanted on himself. No one wants him there, including himself. He still thinks he was the victor. Though Trump supporters may be vocal and and, as we know, delusional and turbulent…..South Floridians do NOT support him. Oooops! Plan B, Mr. Trump. Betcha the local YMCA will take ya!

Trump’s presence will be fondled in southeast Florida, but NOTHING compared to the turbulent and painfully gripping past four years. Road closures surrounding Mar-Al-Lagosi will dissipate into, maybe, a ‘NO PARKING’ zone, with the exception of painted spaces for Misters McCarthy, Cruz and Harley. See them! They’re those blue, HANDICAPPED ONES marked DDE: for Delusional Domestic Enemies. It doesn’t matter. He’s on his way outta there too! PLEASEREADTHIS🗽

I’m no Michelle McNamara…part two

We desire to know the truth. Whatever realm. Is there a heaven? A hell? UFO’s? Mediums? We fight for the truth. It makes us feel better. And, that desire puts us to work. And, with truth comes justice. That is, KNOWING there is a ‘something’; a ‘someone’ to BLAME. Ahhh! Feels better! It is a justice, a right, an escape from {our own} guilt? Ergo… enters my muse. My Michelle. Prematurely gone without HER justice.

As an armchair detective, crime has always fascinated me. Peering into lives of psychopaths, sociopaths, schizo-affectives, the personality disordered…ALWAYS preoccupied my persona. Bizarrely so. Was I searching for a panacea for my own inner torment? Or…to normalize, to seek justice through blame by containing the ‘bad guy’, the evil. There! Much better. However…this ‘bad guy’ can sometimes allude us. OJ? Casey? Or…Zodiac? ‘GOTTA GET HIM(ER)’ we cry! We need Justice! Don’t we? To what end? Obsession, anxiety, insomnia? There ‘should’ be guidelines’. Inner regulations. Outside rules.

But Michelle. She suffered. Why Did her need to find the Golden Gate Killer cause her such exorbitant stress that took her away from us? Was it an illness? A vanity project? An autobiographical purge of her past sins?

Thus is where it gets tricky. Yes! We all need to feel the world is safe. Fair. Just. We solve our own crimes everyday. But! It’s not enough for some of us. When it morphs to irrational, the psychological toll can be irreparable. The frantic immersion to ‘solve’…to blame’ … to seek ‘justice’… It can leave you frayed and damaged, especially when the elusive demon doesn’t get any closer. I am so sorry Michelle. I feel your pain. You have guided me to learn that FINDING JUSTICE can be found in just looking. Thank you for that. PLEASEREADTHIS🗽

I’m no Michelle McNamara…part one

Crime obsession. Tis my tragic flaw. Not really my fault. Started in first grade Bible History class, just after lunch. Sr HildeGUARD, donned in her penguin costume, sternly posturing over my tattered pine desk (I think I may have defaced it with some spiteful doodles as well)…as if, or so I thought) an answer from me. Did Cain kill Abel or visa versa. My post Franco-American canned spaghetti meal (walked home-hot meals) was churning in my belly like a washing machine. All I remember was the crime. A ‘Holy’ murder? Was this for real? Cops and robbers was all I knew. The Good guy. The Bad guy. Or… the ‘Stick ‘Em Up’ Westerns… guns, sheriffs, bang-bang dead men dragged off to a seedy cell near a saloon. Ah! The war movies! Again good guy /bad guy. Scary Asian faces haunted me…those soldiers so oddly dressed speaking a language so strange and fast, like they were being fast- forwarded. Bad guys HAD TO PAY. Shot dead! Bloody images ingrained so deep in my seven year old mind that night terrors ensued for years. Marching in the middle of the night only to be awakened by my twin sister telling me that I was scaring her The GUILTY PARTY HAD TO PAY. Guilt…Punishment. The Catholic Way. And, to me as a kid? The AMERICAN WAY.

So… Not my fault. Crime was injected into me like the measles vaccine back then. Having Crazy-Sick Parents didn’t help. Crime…guilt…punishment. The triad of my life. Thank god I’ve evolved. Somewhat! Which brings us to the point of why Michelle McNamara is my muse. My haunting hero. My dark place. Although SHE never lived to acknowledge the identity of the serial killer who so passionately preoccupied her life, I believe her self-consumption was innately assuaging her painful need to place guilt.

We are all guilty of something. We know this without a conscious conversation. Are we all not born with the scar of a sin we never met! We baptize even though we swear we won’t. We practice or contemplate honoring a form of religion. We need to slay our dragon of guilt; the MAINSTAY OF OUR LIVES…. we are all vulnerable, caught between the sharp forces of good and evil. We crave redemption. Our salvation is allied to our need to be forgiven for whatever wrongs, broken commandments or failures we have accrued… in the form of guilt. And… we need to be forgiven. Thus! As much as this… we need to BLAME! Accepting responsibility is self- limiting and impossible. Round and round we go. Next! Punishment! The best part! The hardest part! The part where self awareness, objectivity and passion intertwine to weave production or destruction. PLEASEREADTHIS🗽